1. People who say “ORD loh!” to random people in uniform. Specifically people who don’t look like they’re going anywhere with their lives. OK, so where are you now? Stuck in your dead end job with meager pay? Or wait what, unemployed? Should have just signed on with the army with your NS vocation of ‘Storeman’ now shouldn’t you? Because now you can’t even feed your 19-year old wife and 2 kids. Fuck you man!

2. Rich motherfuckers who malingered to get themselves revocated to non-combat vocations…and feel so fucking proud about it. I mean who cares right? Mommy gives me pocket money to supplement my 420-dollar a month private rank allowance.

3. ‘Cheena’ people who give themselves Christian names trying appear more ‘ang moh’ but aren’t really educated enough to understand how they work. For god’s sake, ‘Joycelyn’ is not a fucking name! It’s ‘Jocelyn’!

4. People who add pretentious middle names to their Facebook username trying to appear more ‘atas’. Look bitch, it doesn’t change the fact that you were a fucking ‘Ah Lian’ back in secondary school alright?

5. People who flaunt their minimal ability with Photoshop. Especially ‘Minahs’ who simply add in a few filters and some brightly coloured text to their handphone-shot self-portraits and actually believe they’ve done a good job.

6. ‘Minahs’ with thin eyebrows. Seriously what the fuck?

7. People who excessively announce their hatred for Twilight, Justin Bieber and whatever fucking else is ‘cool’ to hate at the moment. And it’s not enough to simply not watch the damn movie; these people feel the need to convert everyone else they know to their senseless cult.

8. People who repost 9GAG pictures on Facebook. Aren’t you a little slow? That shit was on ‘Vote’ two weeks ago.

9. People who post football shit on Facebook. Like every single fucking match night, my wall will be bombarded with posts about Liverpool losing 2-1 to LA Lakers or…look, I don’t fucking care alright? Seriously, fuck you!

10. Angsty 23-year olds who still think they’re 17 describing the types of people he hates. 

I need more friends.